“My son loves Swiss chard: do not Believe anything that phony-parents tell you

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“At home that only organic products come to the table” or “I’ve Luise Sofie even before birth in the bilingual Kindergarten logged in”: Almost all parents are familiar with such sets of überambitionierten mothers and fathers and find them mostly a pain in the arse.

Indeed, it should be these parents realize that children can be healthy and happy, if they are not orbiting helicopter. However, the bad Conscience is gnawing at you: Why Luise Sofie’s already crawling, while Peter has not rotated from the back to the belly?However, it is precisely in these families, not everything is always as it seems, and a look behind the Scenes is worth it – so at least the theory of Jason Good. The American Blogger and father of a family presented in a slightly exaggerated, but very amusing, its very personal Interpretation of six classic nerd -sets:

let’s Be honest: – Ambitious parents nervous. Instead of telling the funny story of how your daughter on your gerbil threw up, texts you for hours with how great the Small rolls the R when she speaks Spanish. In the Following, you can find the most grotesque braggarts of the parents comments, I came up under, and what (as I suspect) is actually behind them. FOCUS Online classifieds Now to use vouchers from myToys!

1. “My son loves raw chard.”

The truth: He ate it Once by Mistake because he believed that it was a particularly funny looking candy. Then he started crying himself to sleep, while the father’s Status changed his Facebook to “Baxter loves chard.”

2. “Our children hate television. We don’t even have a TV at home!“

The truth: The children of these people pull themselves churning out films on the Computer or iPad. Maybe even more than when a TV in the house.

3. “The favorite country of our son’s is Serbia.”

The truth: He has spoken only Once of Serbia, but said, in reality, Siberia, because he had just watched (on the iPad) is a sequence of Super Friends, Lex Luthor is Superman in a Siberian ice block locks. The favorite Land of this child is “I don’t know. A country is not the Same as a mountain? Because my favorite mountain is Canada.“

4. “So, we have recently found out that Gluten . . . blahblah . . . Flatulence . . . Intelligence quotient . . .“ (‘Scuse me, but usually I lose interest when I hear of “Gluten”.)

The truth: The parents suffer from intolerance to gluten, or believe at the very least, therefore, you don’t want to have the stuff in the house, because you trust yourself. Maybe I’m even allergic to Gluten, frequent bloating and constant tiredness I have to show for it anyway, but I like bread too much to want to ever find out. Clear will avenge my Karma now for this joke, in which at least one of my children will develop a gluten intolerance and I’m going to self-to this variety Elterntyp, I’m here for fun.

5. “You should change to cloth diapers.”

The truth: These people have purchased cloth diapers in the value of two hundred dollars and not more regret the now deeply, just coming from the point out because they have been told all over the world, such as the environment you are aware of. And now you want to, at least, that all others will ruin the washing machine.

6. “My child has four months, slept right through!”

The truth: The child sleeps through the night, through The child sleeps at night, because the parents either have a Babysitter for the night, the nice way, not told, if your offspring is awake. Or just wear headphones, in which nothing penetrates, and have subjected your child to a “sleep training”. This can make any, as he thinks, but when you hear it all the time, such half-truths, you feel in the face of one’s own three-year-old in the parents ‘ bed like a failure.

Goldmann

The preceding Text is an excerpt from the book “children of madness” by Jason Good, published in Goldmann-Verlag. The book has 208 pages and costs 8,99 Euro.

“kids are amazing. 71 slope lists to the everyday life of parents” on Amazon buy.

In the FOCUS Online/Wochit you want, that your child is a genius? You give him one of these names! evah parents perfection poser children

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